Meet the Rest of my 'Pack'...




Me, Mom and Will

 

Ahhh...The good old days...This is a picture my family, or my 'Pack" as I call them, nowadays... It was taken when I was six years old and Will was eight years old... Dad had been gone for a year, but that is okay: Mom had enough love for me and my brother. However, when Will ran away two years ago, Mom was depressed for a while. I think it just came as a shock to her because all of a sudden he left...without a warning...I remember the day he left....

I woke up to the smell of hot coco and donuts....Which meant that something was wrong, Mama never made hot coco and donuts unless something bad happened (like when Will killed my dog on accident...Mama made ALOT of hot coco).
I went downstairs and asked my mom what was wrong and she said "Will left."...At first I was like, 'um...okay it's Saturday, he probably was at hockey practice', But when it became late in the afternoon I finally understood what mama meant...I wept that whole night and kept asking Mama why he left and what I did wrong...She said it wasn't my fault and that Will was just too much like our dad. [ Trust me, that didn't make me feel better at all ]....
**Now I worry all the time that I am like my father....But, how would I even know if I am or not because I was too little to remember him & everything mom says about him is bad....And Will isn't here to tell me anything....So once again I am alone....**

I haven't seen my brother since the night before he left....We were playing "Call of Duty" together and eating pizza (just another typical weekend)....But, before I went to bed he hugged me and told me that he loved me and for me to never forget that; which was rare because my brother normally wasn't the emotional type...

The next day I wake up and he is gone....Since then, my mom and I haven't been the same...I think she is worried that i will leave her too....Which someday I will when I am like twenty or so years old, but for now I think I am okay where I am at.....
I have asked her if I could look for Will, but every time I bring up his name she says 'no' and that's that......Someday I hope to find him; maybe with a family and kids living in a nice house, with a dog and working a good job.....I miss and love my brother so much!!! (if by some irony he comes across this blog, I just need him to now I think about him all the time)....Maybe Natasia could help me find him...I mean she does have that whole "ghost" connection thing working for her....I will ask her next time I see her....She likes talking a lot anyways.... :)

William "Will" Dean McCalister....I love and miss you bro....Love your baby sis, Eve.